Burden of Guilt

A friend emailed me her friends article, published in the Globe and Mail today. Read it at the link back there. I read it and thought Karen Nicole Smith's question about whether she had spent her last few years well was quite interesting. She received a kidney transplant and it is starting to fail. As she reflects on the health provided by her donor she is wondering if she has done well with such a valuable gift.
I understand this burden of guilt. I have received a life too. A wonderful life. A blessed life. For many years I have been enjoying the benefits of this life. Now, I am approaching another milestone. I'll be 55 on my next birthday. That will qualify me for senior discounts in some places. Ouch. I have lived as a follower of Jesus Christ for most of my life. But I wonder. Have I lived it well? Would He be pleased with it? Have I invested well? I don't feel like a failure or that it has been a life poorly lived. But I wonder if I have maximized what He gave me.
How many more years, months, weeks, or days do I have left to invest the life He gave to me? I really want to invest it well. I want to invest it in people. But I don't just want to be liked or even loved. I don't want to simply be well thought ofm by those I have been privilege to know. I want to save lives too. Like He saved mine. I want His life given to me to count for more than just this world. I want it to count in His Eternal Kingdom, the Kingdom not of this world. The Kingdom of Love. The Kingdom where people are valued above all else.
My Burden of Guilt will be eased if I use this life He has given me to make a real difference. "Father, please light a fire of passion in me that will not be satisfied with mediocrity. Help me to burn out for You and Your Kingdom. Help me to spend the moments, minutes, and hours of my life well. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen."